What is your truth? Do you go throughout life letting others tell you your value, determining your goals and destinations or are you in control? And if/when you are in control do your goals/destinations align with you you truly are? Not sure? No worries! In this episode I chat with Steve O’Connell where he shares how you can find your truth, know where you are going along with building the self-esteem and confidence you need to get there!
Steve is an amazing person who lifts others up and has been for years. He is another person who believes in helping people live their lives to the max. He is now on a mission to help people grow their self esteem and confidence so that they feel like they can go after their goals. Steve has been working in corporate America for years as a director of an insurance company. The world of corporate America can be pretty cutthroat, and it was starting to eat at Steve mentally. It started to affect his home life and talked with his wife about what was going on. He was finding that there were a lot of negative people that would do anything to climb to the top, including stabbing others in the back. The negativity was rubbing off on Steve. He was agitated and would always express the negatives. He believed that he wasn’t worthy and thus may not have been performing as effectively as he could. Steve decided to step back to try to figure out what was important to him, and whether or not his job was really what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. He had to find his truth which involved imagining if everything were stripped away, if he didn’t have money, if he didn’t have his job, would he be happy with himself. He realized that no, he wouldn’t be happy with himself because of what he was being surrounded with at work. Steve is a positive guy and heart and genuinely wants to help people. While he didn’t want to step away from corporate America he knew he could make a large impact on his team and other people’s lives by being intentional and living his truth.
Finding your truth takes time, it’s not something that can be done in a minute. Steve does have a few worksheets that he created that you may find useful if you would like to find your truth. You can get them by emailing Steve and asking for them at: [email protected] To find your truth, you should go into a quiet room and really start thinking about who you are. How would you describe who you are if you have nothing else in the world? Nobody else in the world can make you like yourself. Steve believes that your truth can shift over time, but ultimately you are who you are. Many people equate their self-worth to how important of a job they have, how pretty they are, as well as other surface level things along those lines. That is not self-worth. You need to strip all of that away. Every single person is beautiful. It doesn’t matter how important of a job you have, or how much money you make at that job. At the end of the day, we could survive without having money. If you look at yourself and see just an average person, you aren’t great at any talent, you’re just average at the things you do, that doesn’t mean you’re just an average person. We are all better than what we see ourselves as, and if you go into your truth finding with that mindset, it will prevail. As adults we have to realize that if we believe we are average, we need to accept that we are much more than that. You can put in effort to better yourself so that eventually you can see that you are more than average. Everybody is special and unique in their own way, nobody is just completely average. There is something that makes you unique, you do have a special talent! Look for it and embrace it!
We all have an inner critic inside of us, telling us that we aren’t good enough or that we can’t do certain things. However, we can tell it to hit the road, because we don’t need it in our lives. Start with finding your truth, if your inner critic is saying anything outside of what you know to be your inner truth, you know it isn’t true. If it is outside of what you truly believe about yourself, kick it to the curb, don’t listen to those thoughts. If it is maybe something you could improve in, talk to other people you know and research ways you can improve it. Steve says he would talk to his wife and me about it. If it is an area you could improve in, start putting in the work to better yourself. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t good enough, it just means that there’s room for more growth there.
Along with the inner critic saying that we aren’t good enough, we also have an ego that says that we are awesome at everything. Those thoughts don’t serve us either because it doesn’t leave any room for growth in the areas where we may need it. Look at your impact on the world. Do you get a smile when you’re walking down the street and you say something nice or positive? If you’re on social media, do you get positive or negative reactions? Are you making the world a better place by acting the way you’re acting? Air on the side of making an impact by being positive so that people want more of you rather than less of you. If you are struggling with a larger ego, take a look at all of the people who do amazing things around you as well. For example, I used to do fundraisers with some of my choirs and occasionally I would see “wow look how much money I raised!!” I needed to let that go and look around me at the people who donated, the kids that sang in the choir, and everything else that allowed me to get to that point. See the team around you that helped you get to your amazing points, it will help you to stay humble. Raise other people up instead of focusing on raising yourself.
The people you surround yourself with are very important. I personally fell into a hole at one point where I believed I was surrounding myself with the right people, but really it was hurting me more than anything. As another example tying back to the beginning of Steve’s journey, he was surrounding himself with important people in the business world, but they were actually the people bringing him down with negativity. So how do you surround yourself with the right people? Let your heart lead you, what makes you have a positive impact on the world? Find people like that. Find people who help you to be positive and help you to spread your positivity. Those people can change too, you may think that people are good for you, and maybe they are initially, but everything can change. This doesn’t necessarily mean you have to give up friends, sometimes you just need to step away from certain people. If the connection becomes very negative however, you should think about letting them go.
If you would like to connect with Steve, you can find him on Facebook and Instagram or email him at [email protected] You can also ask me if you’d like me to connect you to him! I would love to hear what you think about Finding Your Truth and the interview with Steve! Please send me a message on social media @Jonesinfor or email me at [email protected]