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Staying Positive in a Tough Situation

Staying Positive in a Tough Situation - Episode 77

When life is tough or you’re having a tough conversation with someone, how can you still remain calm and positive? It can be tricky but know that it can be done! Trust me, I used to be extremely hot headed and was quick to anger. Now, I’m much more level headed and calm, even when someone is “attacking” me. In this episode I will share 3 strategies you can use to get though a tough situation and 5 strategies to help you have a tough conversation with someone. So let’s dive in!

Know that you are not alone in going through tough times, everyone on this earth goes through tough times, even though they don’t all look the same. When tough times happen, we don’t need to let them bring us down, we can still be the light in the world. I have three strategies that can help you get through these tough situations. 

My first strategy is to look for the positives. If you’ve followed me for any length of time you probably heard me say this at least once. When you are in rough situations there is a lot of negative energy weighing you down. If you can find some positives they can act as a lifeline for you. Thinking about your gratitudes is also very helpful. You can also think about how you can grow, or help other people learn from the situation you’re going through. All hard times allow us to grow. It is a very important and positive thing to grow as a person. Frame it in a positive way and you will be leaps ahead of people thinking of it in a negative way.

The next thing to try is remember that the tough situation is not going to last forever. While the tough time sucks as you go through it, it isn’t going to last forever. It might go on longer than you want it to, but it won’t be forever. Look at your past, I’m sure you’ve gone through tough times before, and you’ve survived all of them! 

A third strategy to get through a tough time is to breathe and focus on the present moment. When I say breathe, I mean focus on your breath, be deliberate. Focus on the different things happening in that moment, you don’t need to think about the situation, but focus on something else that’s going on. That will calm your mind and make you more relaxed and better able to focus on the situation at hand. I would also advise you that if you are really struggling to go see a therapist who can help you. 

Say you need to have a difficult conversation with someone who hurt you, I have five strategies to help you have an effective conversation. These are easy things to say but might not be so easy to put into effect. However, it is important to communicate to others when things aren’t right. As much as you may want to, you can’t just avoid the conversation. Having these conversations may be difficult, but they often make your relationships much stronger in the end

The first strategy is be understanding. You don’t need to agree with their opinions or their actions but let them explain why they did the things that they did. It is important for everybody to feel like they’re being heard. So don’t jump to conclusions, let them explain their side and try to be understanding. 

Second, don’t judge them. Even if you feel like they’ve done wrong to you, don’t judge the words that they’ve said or the actions that they’ve taken. You are not in that person’s shoes; you haven’t lived their life.

The third strategy is to share your feelings using “I” statements. This is something I taught a lot as a teacher. When I first started this I thought it was ridiculous, but it really does make a huge difference. As an example, instead of saying “You made me so angry, you forgot to wash the dishes and now the cat pushed them all over the floor!” Try saying something like, “I’m feeling angry because the dishes weren’t washed and now the cat pushed them all over the floor.” Just share your thoughts and how the situation has affected you. Don’t blame the other person or point fingers, just simply state your feelings. 

The fourth strategy is to actively listen to the other person. If you’ve ever felt like you weren’t listened to or your opinions or ideas weren’t heard, you probably know that it doesn’t feel very good. When we don’t feel we’re heard we can get angry, frustrated, or sad, but it’s not just letting the person talk and then tuning them out. You need to actively listen to them. Nod your head, offer appropriate comments, acknowledge that they’ve been heard and hopefully they’ll do the same thing for you.

My final strategy is know that your joy and happiness is not dependent on anybody or anything except you. If you allow another person to drain your energy then you’ll feel drained, but you don’t have to. Let it go. Your happiness comes from you and the positives you find, and the love that you offer yourself. 

All of these things are easier said than done, but if you try them you will start to see improvements in your conversations and your relationships. You will come out of the conversations feeling better and possibly having solved the issues. I would love to hear what you think about Staying Positive in a Tough Situation! Please send me a message on social media @Jonesinfor or email me at spencer@spencermjones.com.