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Do the people you surround yourself with affect you and your ability to reach your goals and dreams? In this episode of the Jonesin’ for Show I share the importance of your tribe. The benefits, the negatives, and how the people you surround yourself with can affect your life.
Let’s first address your tribe. What is a tribe and who is in it? Well, your tribe is the group of people you surround yourself with the majority of the time. And who is in it? Well, it’s filled with the people you spend the most time with. This includes family and friends but can also include your coworkers, and people in groups and associations you may be part of. Many people don’t even think about who is in their tribe. They just go on living life and think something like “it is what it is”. This can have a detrimental affect on them reaching their goals and dreams. Please note that you do have a choice.
You can and frankly should pick your who is in your tribe. By doing so you can change the trajectory of your life. I think of a saying by Jim Rohn, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” So if he is correct, then if you want to live a mediocre life, surround yourself with mediocre people. But if you rather live a life of success and crushing your dreams, then surround yourself with people who are crushing their dreams and encouraging you to do the same.
I think of my friend AJ, a successful speaker and entrepreneur. He has a personal driver, a chef, and a housekeeper. But he didn’t always have those things and he didn’t grow up with anything close to those conveniences. So how did he decide to create that kind of life? He surrounded himself with people who were successful in things he wanted to be successful in. That’s when he noticed that they had a personal chef, a driver, housekeepers, etc. He realized that by more of his time free because he wasn’t needing to do those extra things, he can help impact more people. Then he worked to build his business so he could have that freedom. Please know, it’s not about imitating people or copying what people have. You need to evaluate your life and see what can help you live your life to the max. For me, I love to drive and cook. So I wouldn’t necessarily want a driver or a chef, but I could see getting a housekeeper because I’d rather not clean. I feel my time could be better used elsewhere.
Be careful of who is in your tribe. You always need to be evaluating who is in it. I think of the crabs in a bucket analogy. When one crab tries to escape the bucket the others pull it down, not letting it get out. Our “friends” can do the same thing. They may say they want you to succeed but what are their actions telling you. Are they lifting you up and empowering you, or are they ripping the ladder out from under you and tearing you down? Be vigilant and make sure you are surrounding yourself with the right people.
Know that you need to be intentional. Picking the right people for your tribe isn’t easy. You may have to let someone who has been in your inner circle for years go. They may have been there for years but they may not be helping you. So instead of letting them negatively influence you, you make the hard choice and let them go. Maybe communicate every now and then but they don’t make the impact on your life that they were before.
So how can you find a new tribe? Ask yourself who do you want to surround yourself with? Who is succeeding at those aspects of life? Then go where they are! Perhaps it’s an in person community, although it’s tough during this covid time. Maybe it’s an online community? Or you pay and join accountability groups. Whatever it is, search for them. Research and ask people where the people you want to surround yourself with hang out. Then go there, and start making connections and build friendships with them. When you do that, you are on your track to creating a tribe that will be there to support you no matter what!
I would love to hear your thoughts about this episode of the Jonesin’ for Show. Please send me a message on social media at @Jonesinfor or email me at [email protected] Thanks!