How do you define success? The definition is different for everybody, but many people will say similar things, such as having a well-paying job, or a nice car. Laura Rubin is an amazing woman who can help you to redefine success. In today’s episode of the Jonesin’ for Show she shares how we can redefine success for us and life a truly joy filled life!
Laura used to do all of the things that society tells us to do to be successful. She went to college, got a job, and checked off all of the boxes. However, it didn’t feel right. Laura ended up losing her job and wanted to make a change. She looked inwards at her life to find out what she really wanted. She thought about who she was when she took away all of the labels from her life, she realized that if she didn’t think of herself as a mother, or a business owner, etc. she didn’t really know who she was. You can’t just fill the void in your life with more meaningless hobbies. You need to find what will truly make you happy and go after it.
You need to give yourself permission to not go with what society tells us to do. Give yourself permission to be different. You may need to pause and back up a little bit to think about what you’re doing in your life. You can start small, for example, if you drink coffee in the morning, take five minutes to think about that coffee, how does it make you feel? What does it smell like? Is it too hot or too cold? That will help you bring awareness back into your life.
How many “should’s” and “have to’s” do you have per day? When you wake up and you’re writing your to do list how many things do you feel you should do, or you absolutely have to do? Think of those and then think of one thing you WANT to do, put that on your to do list as well and make sure you make time to do it. It could be a five-minute activity, it doesn’t matter how long it takes, do something you want to do every day. Be intentional about it, get done what you have to get done as well, but don’t let your “have to’s” run your entire life. Say you like to jog in the morning, instead of just doing it to get it done, be present and truly enjoy that run. If you are jogging outside, look at the sights around you and enjoy them. You may find that you enjoy it more and get more energized by doing that, I know I do. Find people to support you in your journey so that you can take that leap of faith and keep going. “Should’s” and “Have To’s” tend to correlate with things that we don’t really care about and that don’t align with our core values. Give yourself grace, we all have “should’s” and “have to’s” and sometimes these are things we can get out of, but other times we can’t. Try to change the language, instead of saying “I should call my mom more” switch it to “I want to call my mom every Wednesday afternoon” or something along those lines. Awareness is the key to everything. Before you can change something, you have to be aware of it.
As was mentioned previously, it is important to find your core values. Think about yourself as a person, what do you like? What don’t you like? Maybe create a list of 25 words that speak to you. Take those words and group them into different categories. Then look at those categories and pick the one that speaks most to you and keep going. Try those words for a little bit and live based on those words, if it doesn’t work, try changing up your words. This exercise forces you to be aware and take the time to figure out who you are. It’s a process, and it may be scary. Laura encourages her clients to revisit their lists every week for the first month or so to ensure that they are presenting as who they truly are. When you end up with a decision that you don’t know how to make, take a look at your list and see how the options align with your core values. Once I figured out what my core values are it changed my life. I felt more fulfilled, and I started to surround myself with people who also aligned with my values. Laura was into the horse showing industry, as she started changing her values, she realized that the people she was around in the horse industry didn’t really align with her values. She started attracting other people who were also in the horse industry who did align with her values.
You don’t need to quit your job or ditch all of your friends in order to change yourself. Once you start living with your core values you will start finding that your job is more bearable than it was previously. You become a whole being so that your job isn’t the only thing in your life that matters. You can set your intentions for the things that you are doing so that you can make the most of them. Look at your life and start setting boundaries based on your values. Pick one or two things that you want to improve in your life. For example, maybe you’ve been using social media as your “pause” from life and you don’t want to do that anymore. Put a boundary on how much or when you can be on social media through the day. During the times when you would normally be on social media try reading a book or watching a movie with your family instead.
If you would like to connect with Laura, you can find her at lifewithlauramarie.com or on Instagram @lifewithlauramarie, as well as on LinkedIn under Laura Marie Rubin. If you are stuck and want some help feel free to reach out to her, she would love to have a conversation! I would love to hear what you think about How to Achieve Success! Send me a message on social media @Jonesinfor or email me at [email protected]