Let me just say this right away, if you want to grow, you’re going to have to disrupt something. Change never happens in the same state. Something needs to change. Whether it’s a physical or mental, something needs be different in order to allow the change. In episode 102 of the Jonesin’ for I chat with amazing father, developer, and entrepreneur James Heppner about how we grow through disturbances.
As I mentioned James is a coach and an entrepreneur. He has been a real estate developer, and he also works with personal development which is the only area that he handles everything by himself. That is due to the fact that it resonates with him, he realized that you need to build a relationship with yourself. You need to experience yourself deeper to deal with your issues and find out what really makes you happy.
You can’t remove all of the darkness from your life, if you did that you couldn’t have brightness. If you don’t allow yourself to experience weakness, you won’t be able to experience strength. Of course, you can’t let the darkness drain you and your energy, you need to learn and grow from it. If you find that you need to do something different that you’re afraid of, you should move towards that darkness of the unknown. Let’s say you order the same pepperoni pizza every time you go to a restaurant, and every time you want to order something else, you decide not to because you’re afraid it won’t be as good. We get so used to being in our comfort zone that we don’t want to step into the darkness and try new things. Once you do step into that darkness and out of your comfort zone you begin to learn and grow. If you don’t do it, you will remain stagnant and unchanging. Often the things that we believe are dangerous are based off of our previous experiences. For another example, say you are really into knitting and would like to try crocheting, but you’re too afraid of trying that different experience. That may come from when you were young and learning to knit your grandmother said that you were doing really well. You may be afraid of not doing as well when you learn to knit and don’t want to disappoint anyone.
We all have our core discontentment’s. So often we don’t change our current solution and provide a better solution to actually solve our problems. Going back to the pizza example you can see that the current solution for always eating something that tastes good is to eat the same thing every time. However, that brings the problem that you grow tired of that pizza or someday you may not be able to order that pizza because they are out of stock. Once you step into the unknown and order something else your palette will open up, your world view expands. Stop waiting for someone else to rescue you, go for it now and get it done!
Many times, we don’t actively choose to create our current solution. We do need to actively choose to create a better solution though. We need to embrace the fear in order to create a better solution. When it comes to advancement in your life, many people can be split into one of two groups. The first group draws a line and says once you reach that line, you’re good, you’ve reached the goal and will leave a legacy. The second group says that line is saying that life is something that can be conquered, when really it isn’t. Why do we care so much about whether or not we are remembered after we’re gone? James believes that your values and the things you believe in are more important for remembering than what you did in your day-to-day life. We came to love first, not to serve. If you place service for others before love for yourself and others you will quickly get burnt out.
Roadblocks will also come up when you are trying new things. Be flexible and enjoy that mystery of discovering it and trying to figure out how to solve it. My wife and I travelled to Romania to hike up a mountain even though we didn’t know the area and don’t speak the language. Our first day there after stepping out of our hotel we were pretty daunted, and we could have turned around and gotten the next flight home, but we didn’t. We had gone there to accomplish something and have new experiences, so we stepped into that unknown. James encourages you all to combine things that you take comfort in with things that you’re afraid of. When I was in Romania, I had my wife with me which brought me a lot of comfort and helped push me forward.
You are in control of how you deal with your emotions. When you wake up you may realize that you feel a bit sad or anxious. You get to decide what to do with those emotions. You can turn it up and make those negative emotions worse than they need to be, or you can turn it down and push past them. Or you may wake up feeling energized and ready to go! You can turn that up and really go after your goals, or you can turn it down and just go on with your day like normal. If you don’t take control of your emotions, someone else will take control for you.
Don’t wait for someone else to come and create a problem that you need to change for. That gives someone else control over you. Create your own pressure and choose to make that change and embrace that darkness on your own. If you would like to learn more about James you can find his website www.jamesheppner.com or email him at [email protected] I would love to hear what you think about Growth Through Disturbance. Send me a message on social media @Jonesinfor, or email me at [email protected]